when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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