I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
