Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
