We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
