piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
