Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
