Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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