Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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