ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
