this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
