All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
