Me too!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got inside last night via doggy door
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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