I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
