I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
