Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
