sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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