I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize