I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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