i can't believe i had my finger in that
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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