I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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