areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
