He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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