question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
