So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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