So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can I color on your dick again?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
