Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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