let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
