We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize