She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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