I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
