can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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