in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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