i just had sex bonerless
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
