This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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