how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
