some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
