Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
