i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
