Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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