i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
