Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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