I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
