Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
