Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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