"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
