Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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