Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So. Much. Porn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
