He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
