DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
