Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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