we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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