OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
