i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
