The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
