it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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