I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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